Read my poem "Sanctum Sanctorum" at Writing Raw.
Also at Muse India (Your Space)
Update: I have submitted my PhD thesis, titled "The Indian Diaspora in Transition: Reading Anita Desai, Bharati Mukherjee, Sunetra Gupta and Jhumpa Lahiri", in Calcutta University for adjudication.
And I am indebted to my three English guides:
1. Mr. Steve Menezes (Secondary and Higher Secondary levels)
2. The British Council Library, Kolkata (Graduate and Post-graduate levels)
3. Dr. Santanu Majumdar (Doctoral level)
Saddened that with the end of Shri Gopal Krishna Gandhi's tenure as the Governor of West Bengal, he no longer remains the Chancellor of Calcutta University.
3 comments:
Nice structured poem, starts and ends at the same note, much like the snake with its tail in its mouth.. the absence of the door and the picture frame drives the message home and I like the fact that you have used imagery that effectively conveys the dull backdrop, with "dim light", "drowsiness", the "candle flame" and the "smoky canvas" each contributing to the overall experience.
The usage of tetrameter and pentameter is fluid but this is my personal opinion that Line 11 could have been in tetrameter - it somehow breaks the flow, unless of course that was intentional :)
Also two lines end with the same word "flame" - just a note there as well.
And of course, the rhyming scheme works really well.. :)
Thank you for your critical comment. It is truly a privileged position when one receives such comments that help to enhance one's craft. I am grateful to you.
What you say is correct except that the poem was composed in two stages. Once as a metered rhyme and then it was edited as if it is in free verse. This created an opposition but as the subject of the poem was the disintegration of a vision it required this conflict.
It was as if the subject of the poem itself broke the flow and composed itself. I didn't dare edit further.
That explains, and I agree with you - meter should not be at the cost of natural word flow, else it tends to look artificial (at times).
Especially when you write as well as you do, it’s a privilege to be able to read, understand and critique (although I am far from being a literary oriented person).
I you like reading poetry, please feel free to go through some sonnets on my blog. Hoping I get some unbiased critical comments that I may use to improve on my art.
http://sanjitbhattacharjee.blogspot.com
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